Top 5 Therapy Myths That Need to GTFO
Hello and Happy New Year!
Even though New Years Day was 5 days ago, a lot of people (myself included) felt like it didn’t really start until yesterday (New Years starting right before a weekend is weird, yes?). Yesterday felt like the real start – the day I decided to stop eating everything in sight, start exercising regularly again, and start lists of all the things I want to tackle in my house this year…and maybe even start some of those projects! (I am nothing if not ambitious).
For a lot of people, the new year means resolutions. And starting therapy is a really common one. Whether you want to learn how to better regulate, need a space to express your feelings and receive validation, or you and your partner need a neutral space to increase your communication, therapy can really help.
Often, clients new to therapy will come to their intakes understandably nervous or even scared. They don’t know what to expect and they’ve internalized a lot of myths they’ve heard about therapy over the years. These myths can be so damaging, because they keep people who need care and support from seeking it.
So in the honor of the new year and perhaps your resolutions, here are the top five myths I’ve heard from people about therapy and why they simply aren’t true.
Myth #1: Therapy is only for severe mental illness.
When I started my first job as a therapist, I had a very well meaning family member ask about how my job was going and then follow that up with, “so your clients are really fucked up, huh?” I was annoyed but not surprised. This is such a dangerous, persistent myth because it keeps people who could otherwise benefit from services from seeking them out. Truthfully, therapy is great (and dare I say, necessary!) for everyone! Your therapist probably goes to therapy (and if they don’t, they probably should!) Therapy is a place for validation, for support, for coping skills, for a whole hour dedicated just for you. Clients come in wanting help problem solving or get better insight into their behavior. Some of my clients literally just come to chat with me about their lives because I am the only safe space they have to do that. That is just as valid as someone struggling with mental illness.
Myth #2: All therapy is just talking and can be replaced by talking to friends.
Most people don’t know the educational requirements that go into being a therapist. It requires a bachelor’s degree, then a Master’s degree (and in Maryland, a 60 credit Masters at that!), then passing a national exam and then a state exam, then 3000 hours under supervision (1500 of those face to face with clients) that takes place over 2-3 years. And to maintain that license, we have to take 40 hours worth of training every two years! It’s a ton of work! Your therapist is trained in lots of different theories, techniques, and skills that you’re friends are certainly not
trained in. You aren’t going to therapy looking for someone to be your friend – you’re going to have a neutral person help you untangle your life, or to receive feedback, and to sit with you at your lowest. And let’s be honest – if talking to your friends was enough, you would feel better by now!
Myth #3: My therapist will judge me.
You know that whole “we listen and we don’t judge” meme? That’s exactly who your therapist has taken an oath to be. I’ve been a therapist since the fall of 2014 – going on 12 years now. There is very very little that is shared with me that surprises me and even less that I judge. My job does not involve judgement but instead compassion, support, and validation. That doesn’t mean I won’t call you on something that doesn’t seem to be working for you (our bullshit meters are pretty high, honestly, and mine is particularly attuned), but it does mean you won’t get judgment from me! There’s no reason for it.
Myth #4: Therapy only focuses on childhood trauma.
Nope nope and nope. While it is true that a lot of my clients have childhood trauma, just as many of them don’t. Therapy is for so much more than just processing trauma. It’s for processing your day, your responses, your behaviors, why you are the way that you are. It’s for working on healthy relationship building and learning new coping skills and building self esteem – all things everyone can and should work on, even those without childhood trauma.
Myth #5: Therapy is too expensive.
Ok, ok, I feel like I should take some time on this one. I know therapy can feel expensive, and depending on your financial situation, it absolutely can be. My practice doesn’t take insurance and I know that is frustrating for some. However, there are a few things you should know about why a practice may decide not to participate with insurance companies.
One, if you take insurance, your clients have to meet certain diagnostic criteria for mental illness, and as I stated above, not all of my clients do, and that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve therapy. Two, if a practice chooses to take insurance, insurance companies get to decide how often you meet and they typically won’t support less than one session a week. 70% of my caseload does not see me weekly, and about half of my caseload sees me monthly or even less. If I took insurance, insurance would not cover these clients for such infrequent sessions, even though these sessions are really valuable and necessary to my clients. Third, I work with a lot of couples, and couples work is generally not covered by insurance (yes, yes, I know some therapists are getting that covered but it’s not something I want to be part of).
The truth is, the system is rigged, both for providers and for clients, and I want to offer the most effective treatment possible to my clients. And I feel I can best do this by not participating with insurance companies. For what it’s worth, my clients often tell me that therapy has changed their lives in ways that are hard to measure financially. It’s hard to put a price on saving your marriage or managing your anxiety so that you can function better in the world. Therapy is an investment, yes, but it’s an investment in your life, your relationships and yourself.
And there you have it! Some therapy myths debunked!
If you are considering seeking therapy, please know how proud I am of you for being brave and curious. I feel this can only add to your life…and it’s certainly a better resolution than walking 10,000 steps a day.
Until next time….Healing isn’t linear. Neither is this blog,
Erin
Erin Newton, LCPC, PMH-C is a life-long resident of Harford County, Maryland. She’s a mother to three girls and has been married to her best friend for twenty years. She has been a therapist for over a decade and in that time has worked with 100’s of individuals, couples, and families during some of life’s most challenging chapters – welcoming a new baby, navigating postpartum emotions, managing anxiety, processing traumatic events, and rebuilding connection between partners. She specializes in birth trauma, maternal and perinatal mental health, first responder wellness, anxiety, OCD and relationship and connection issues. She is a quilter, retired marathon runner (twice!) and has been rockin’ rainbow hair since the fall of 2020.
She has immediate openings for new clients in both Maryland and Pennsylvania for both individuals and couples and can typically get an intake scheduled in a week or less. She is out of network with insurance so that together you can determine how much treatment you need, but can provide a Superbill for reimbursement and accepts an HSA card for services.